I’ve heard, and sometimes thought, that Buddhism is a “cop out” religion because it turns away from the world. This varies in branches of Buddhism, but the Tibetan religion puts great emphasis on service. The Dalai Lama and other important teachers are thought to be able to stop reincarnating and enter Nirvana, but they have promised to continue returning to this world until all beings can enter first. I’ve heard this called “joyful participation in the suffering of the world,” meaning that that they do this for and out of love.

You can believe that or not, but, as someone who was raised on The Beatles, I do believe that “all you need is love.” I do. I also believe that “yes is the answer” to life. I don’t see any other reason to do this than out of some fundamental love of all this. All of it.

I mean, if we do reincarnate, I’d rather not stick around waiting on you to get your act together, no offense. I love you and all, but I don’t expect that of you either. Because loving life is hard, yeah? It demonstrates a definite pattern of sucking.

In Tibetan religious art, there is a symbol that looks like two diamonds shaped by lightning and meeting at their points, called a vajra. A vajra is a diamond, and it represents the power of the heart. This is the idea behind the chant of the Buddha of Compassion, “Om mane padme hum.” It means, “The jewel is in the lotus.” If I said “The diamond is in the rose,” I think you’d follow. The flower is the heart — like the Rose Window of Notre Dame (Our Lady) or the heart of Christ — and it represents the strength in the softness of love, the power of our hearts.

This is why meditation is a central focus of Buddhism. We are easily distracted. Life is positively riddled with “Squirrel!” moments. Some of the squirrels obviously pose a real and present danger, as any dog will tell you. Sometimes the squirrel is “That car looks out of control…!” And you jump out of the road before finishing the sentence. Good. The system worked.

But sometimes the system fails. For whatever reason, we start seeing metaphorical cars headed at us all the time, and we feel powerless to stop the traffic. But we cannot live that way long without developing chronic illness and fatigue. Thing is, we don’t have to. Even if there is something incredibly important, awful, lousy, unjust, tragic or just crappy; we still don’t have to let outside events or our fears of things that may never even happen affect us so much. This is a skill — a survival skill — and it must be learned and practiced.

That’s why I still study the Buddhist teachings, particularly on meditation and the emotions. Meditation helps my anxiety and depression by keeping me grounded in the moment, aware of but not a slave to what’s going on in and around me.

And, honestly, what I’ve found is that, with practice, it works. It is a practice and as such important to do a little of every day, and by that I mean base three minutes. If you skip a day, do it the next day. But don’t let it slide because I have, and inevitably I spin out of control. Also, if you establish a practice now, it will be there when you need it most later.

All meditation really requires is a focus point. The breath is an easy one. It’s always there and deep breathing helps us with being calm. There are tons of other types of meditation — including ones you can do in bed! — but the breath is always central. Breathing is super important. Amateur tip: If you want to love life, already love life or are still life-curious, start by getting really stubborn about breathing.

Perhaps some of the “cop out” rap of Buddhism is that the most serious practitioners do isolate themselves from the world. I mean, they are monks. Their life is about being free of “life.” So they keep away from the world and its drama. Although, I can’t fault these guys too hard. I know I need to retreat from life sometimes to regroup. But when we want to meditate, obviously a place that is at least quiet, if not pleasant, is ideal. It’s time to ourselves. It’s giving ourselves a break and enjoying some peace.

Of course, the moment we sit down and shut our eyes our brains are like, “Oh, you have a sec? Because I’ve been thinking…” And it’s off to the races. This is where our focus and practice come into play. Because the object is not to have no thoughts or feelings. The object is to see, feel, name and pay attention to whatever bubbles up, and then to let it pass and return to your breath or focus. And the same things will come around again and again, but just go through the steps, be like “Hm, OK, this is definitely a thing for me” and turn back to the breath.

For myself, I really love moving meditations like yoga or walking. The exercise plus the focus on breathing and feeling is helpful to me because I’m so up in my head. And I mean, I’m in my head even when I am moving. I have plenty of bruises to show for that. But when I focus, I can do some nifty things and feel good about myself, while focusing my mind. But, even though reading, walking, driving, fishing etc can be meditative, it is useful to practice meditation separately. This builds up our ability to drop into a state of calm more easily when we really need to.

So, what does this have to do with The Beatles, Tibetan lamas and love? Well, everything. I cry more on my yoga mat than in bed. I cry during my meditations. I have panic attacks, too. But I know it’s safe and OK to feel the emotion on my mat or in meditation, and can come back to my body, to my breath. This creates space, a crack, between the gonzo stuff that has me upset and the peace of simply existing for a moment, breathing.

I’ve had my share of troubles, more than some and less than others. But I know that I am fundamentally always OK because I just breathe until whatever it is passes. And then I keep on breathing, and then I breathe some more. Before long, I’m surviving and maybe even living. The only way that works is because our hearts are truly strong as diamond but as gentle and soft as the petals of a flower.

All you need is love. And practice, but that’s the idea. When we have that inner refuge and strength available on tap is when we can meet the world as it is and say “yes.” We can show up, step up and level up. It’s the opposite of a cop out. It’s a loving, conscious opt-in to life while controlling the only thing I can: me.

Go listen to your heart, it’s the strongest muscle in the body and it works hard for us. And don’t forget to breathe.

Namasté Legends!

-J.Lakis✌🏻❤️‍🩹🙏🏼🧘🏻🎸🤟🏼

P.S. The original Greek root of my surname (Triantyfilakis) means “that [flower] which has thirty petals,” ie. a rose. 😉

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