Tag Archives: Trump

How Soon is Now? #Resign

#resign

See, I’ve already waited too long. And all my hope is gone — until the next WashPo article.

It’s hot. Very hot. And humid. I just cleaned my house. I’m wearing fleecy gym shorts. I have a sweaty bandana on my head. And I want a mojito…at a Trump Impeachment Party.

But, while I was cleaning the rug beater attachment to the vacuum, I came up with these minor alterations to Morrissey’s solo and Smiths songs to make them relevant to Donald Trump. (Inspired by Andy Serkis’ reading of Trump tweets as Gollum on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. )

Ideally, Mozzy should sing these directly to me, so I made a set list for him.

#1) Putin, you Handsome Devil  [Handsome Devil]

“Lit me git the handz on the mammary glandsAnd lit whore pee on head in conjugal bed.”

#2) How Soon is Now?  [How Soon is Now?]

“There’s a summit, and you’d like to go. You might meet somebody who really loves you. So you go and you stand on your own. And you leave on your own. And you go home, and you cry, and you want chocolate taco bowl pie.”

#3) The More You Ignore Putin, the Closer He Gets [The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get]

“When you sleep he will creep into your head like a bad debt that you can’t pay. Take the easy way and piss off.”

#4) Heaven Knows I’m Tremendously, Hugely Sad Now [Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now]

“I was happy in the haze of Fox & Friends, but Joe and Mika know I’m hugely sad now because I tweeted at them during their show.”

#6) Everyday is Like Sunday, Except I’m not Golfing  [Every Day is LIke Sunday]

“Hide in the White House, etch a Tweet storm. How I dearly wish I could fire Mueller.”

#7) Donald on the Guillotine  [Margaret on the Guillotine]

“The kind people, have a wonderful dream. Donald on the Guillotine.”

#8) Last of The Infamous, International Puppets [The Last of the Famous, International Playboys]

“And in my cell — well I followed Kush — and here’s a list of who I colluded with. Schneiderman! Can I keep my stuff? Oh please say I can! Don’t say I can’t! OO-OO-OH-OH!”

#9) Disappointed [Disappointed]

“Ivanka, one day you will be old. But the thing is, I love you now.”

#10) Vladeane [Jeane]

“I tried, and I failed. I tried, and I failed. I tried, and I failed. Now I get nailed.”

*Encore*

Big Mouth Strikes Again [Big Mouth Strikes Again]



Leave a comment below if you have a song about Donald Trump that you’d like to hear your fave singer do. I’ll be bored until the next Trump scandal drops. (Whoops! Too late! Extra-curricular Putin meeting.)

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The Zen of Colbert

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Stephen Colbert is the hero we need. Ever since his excruciating, live Election Night broadcast, the beloved leader of “The Nation” has been so much winning. And then there’s Trump.

I have a new mantra. It’s something Stephen said in a bit on Trump’s Nuclear Plans, 20 years ago in January. He said, “It’s funny because nothing matters anymore.” Michael Che let the line slip during last Saturday’s “Weekend Update” on SNL. And I find myself repeating it constantly. “It’s funny because nothing matters anymore.”

“Anymore” is the key word here. Stephen Colbert has become every thinking person’s voice. We are people who thought things mattered! Where we once had our pet causes, now we merely have dumbfounded, flabbergasted, confused and fearful ANGER. Stephen made a brave choice to embrace that fear and anger and give into the cray-side. He models the courage all we snowflakes need to embrace.

“Let your freak flag fly,” is the phrase my partner has been using since the election. “If crazy is the new normal, I’m gonna have my freak flag at full mast every second of the day,” he repeats.

Me being, well, me, I found it in a quote by Camus. “The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” In other words, “It’s funny because nothing matters because anymore.” “Let your freak flag fly.”

And Stephen keeps winning! The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is now the highest rated late-night show. Which hits Trump where it matters, in the ratings. The President told Time magazine:

Trump disses Colbert ratings

Image from: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, CBS

Stephen wasn’t shy in his reaction, squealing, “I won!” Nothing important may matter anymore, but nothing is sweeter than high ratings! CBS will pay any “potty mouth” fine. They will never cut lose this golden egged goose. He certainly makes better news than Trump.

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Stephen shows how it’s done.

Stephen Colbert gets it. Even crazy has rules. Play by them! So while Anderson Cooper is now openly rolling his eyes at the creepy Nazi from Raiders of the Lost Ark, Kellyanne Conway:

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Real-time footage of Kellyanne Conway.

Meanwhile, I’m expecting my afternoon, BREAKING NEWS! humdinger about Trump, treason, obstruction of justice, and Russian disruption of our democracy.  I call it my “Daily Constitutional Crisis.”  What!? What do you call it?

I’m just going to keep letting my freak flag fly, Stephen! I get it! I’m  going to be mad, be rash, smoke and explode, burn all my clothes.

Thanks to Stephen Colbert, I will live my exquisitely nerdy life down on the farm with my bandana made of Superman sheets, my overalls, and Eau de DEET parfume, while doing whatever I damn well please.  I’m living so free that my very existence is an act of rebellion.

You either get it or you don’t. Only Stephen Colbert can explain it to ya.

But, it’s funny because nothing matters anymore.

 

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Anger, Fear, The Plague & Trump

Christ and Sisyphus

“Jesus! I feel like my entire life is a protest now.” “That just means we’re free, Sis.”

Trump is a plague. He has mastered inspiring fear and rage. Not just in his supporters, but all over the globe. And certainly in myself, and most people I know. My therapist told me that the number and intensity of reports by clients regarding Trump is a phenomenon. Possibly even an emergent disease. So, he literally is a plague on humanity. So what do we do, besides suffer in fear and anger and hopelessness? What can we do?

I have a fascination with plague. It began very young. Maybe it was the first time I realized that something scary and dangerous can swoop down on me and my family at any moment, and with no “why.” That there is no cosmic purpose behind the suffering caused by disease, WWI, The Holocaust, or Donald Trump. Suffering has reasons, but no “Reason.” We give these events meaning in hindsight. And our reactions and actions during times of suffering give meaning to our lives and experience. It’s tempting to believe there is a form of “cosmic justice” to it all. But in the end, real people with lives and family died in the camps, while Hitler got off with suicide. People brought the Nuremberg Trials, not the cosmos. The Universe doesn’t care about Earth, or one single species. People must bring the meaning AND the justice.

So, what to do? What to do? Well, I read The Lord of the Rings three times in succession since the Election. And while that book has spiritual influences, it comes down to the individuals involved to each do their part to bring down Sauron, even the trees! And here we all are, so many reluctant heroes, wishing for the Shire and a big, wise Gandalf to hug, but this isn’t Middle Earth. And the winning of the War of the Ring had a lot of casualties, from the Elves, to the trees, to Frodo himself.

Tolkien has more in common with other post WWI and WWII writers than his fantasy war suggests. Today we’d call it PTSD. Seems to me the man was so traumatized by his experience of WWI that he invented other languages just to express his thoughts and feelings . But some authors used more common-place settings. In The Plague, Albert Camus set his story in a place so ordinary that it could be anywhere. And the characters could be any one of us.

The “heroes” in The Plague are a motley crew, like The Fellowship of the Ring. There’s Doctor Rieux, who just doggedly pursues his work while his wife is away for a tuberculosis cure . The political undesirable, who gets stuck in the town while on the run, and becomes the Doctor’s best friend. The guy who is motivated to be reunited with the woman he loves. And dear old M. Grande, the minor civil servant, who works tirelessly on his “great novel” by night, as he goes out of his way to ensure that The Doctor has everything he needs, and whose life (and great novel) are at last saved by the Doctor’s successful serum.

While much of the town in The Plague is dying of disease, the rest is taken over by hopeless drunken revellers, angry mobs attacking the poor, African section of the town, fear-mongers preaching God’s wrath and judgement, profiteers, and suicides. The sane characters — the heroes — are people who have accepted that the worst may happen to them. They too feel fear, anger, despair, but they choose to simply be decent human beings anyway. They all play their little part for both their own reasons and a common goal: ending the suffering caused by the plague and freeing the town from its quarantine — its fear, anger and despair. Their very existence is a protest against the inhumanity of suffering and a world turned upside down. Their lives and work together are a testament to Gandalf’s assertion that:

“Some believe it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. It is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love.”

There is a touching passage near the end Camus’ book, that describes why Doctor Rieux recorded the events of his experience during the plague, down to the detail that, amidst the tearful reuniting of loved ones after the crisis, his wife never returned from her “cure.” The quote has been honored with a plaque in New York City, on Library Way (East 41st Street between Madison & Fifth Ave.). And I will leave that here for reflection.

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Let this be said of all of us, when the story of this time of plague is written.

Whatever your method or motivation, never forget those who suffer, bear witness, and choose decency. That is how we defeat the plague of Trump, anger, fear, and despair.

Check out my Instagram! There are pictures of things I like and hate! 😊

While you’re there: check out my BFF’s Instagram and share some love.

Got a comment? Click below! I love the feedback. If you like what you’ve read, tap Like and Share! Click here to follow on Twitter.


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