I have lived an improbable life.

I moved from Salem NJ, to Lancaster PA, to Haddonfield NJ, then Mullica Hill NJ and back to Lancaster again. All by the eighth grade. My parents had vicious arguments, separated, got back together. Then my Dad died three days before I started my senior year of college.

At twenty-three, I was thanking the Academy. I raised money to visit Buckinghamshire, UK to research William Penn at the first Friends’ (Quaker) Meeting House. At thirty I was living in Costa Rica as an ex-pat. Three years later, I had to ask my little sister to send me money to escape the dangerous, drug-addicted man who had broken both my teeth and given me permanent brain damage there. Then I went on to write several more screenplays.

I don’t stop. And believe me, I’ve thought about it. I’ve even tried it. I’m just obsessed. With life, how things work and why. I pick subjects to do deep dives into every four years or so. When I move, every three to five years, I throw myself into the place. I commit until it’s over. Then I move on. And I throw myself into that.

I adapt. And that is how species, including ours, survive. Dinosaurs with feathers become backyard chickens. And shrews climbed trees, then climbed back down and became us. Change is all we can count on.

The asteroid that killed the great dinosaurs that reigned over our planet for about 150 million years is proof. For reference, we homo sapiens have been around for about 100 thousand. The Neanderthals were here for about 250 thousand.

But don’t despair. We are one of the amazing things that happens when the right chemistry meets the right conditions over a lot of time. And that’s pretty darn cool. And whether we are one of thousands of other sentient species in our Milky Way or we are the only ones looking up at the night sky, either is truly awesome.

One thing Hamlet said in his soliloquy, was that no traveler has come back to tell us about the other side. And this was a man who had just run into his dead father. His point was that we really don’t, and can’t, know for sure what happens when we shuffle off this mortal coil.

“Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.” And the burden lies on the person making the claim to provide that evidence. Lack of evidence is not evidence to the positive. And all I’ve experienced tells me that, while there may be more to heaven and earth than is dreamt of in our philosophy, this is our only chance to look up at that night sky. To be the Universe contemplating itself.

And we matter, and we get to choose. And that is what sets us big, dumb apes apart from most other species. We can become a doctor or a carpenter. Marry someone our family hates or loves. And it does matter. It matters to us because if this is our only go, and we are the only other creatures like us, then wow. Our experiences matter. Our pain, joy, love, hatreds, struggles all matter.

It all matters because you’re the only you there ever was and ever will be. And that is worth fighting for. Regardless of our “importance” in the eyes of others, we’re important to ourselves.

The more you hear or feel that you don’t matter, the harder you must fight to keep yourself around, if only to tick those jagoffs off. And that’s why I changed this blog’s name to “Obsessed with Life.” It sometimes takes that intensity to get through. And if haters want to say that you’re just lucky or took the easy way, you know better. You have the scars.

I had been thinking a lot about a new, long form writing project. And part of it is this blog’s evolution. Sharing my experiences in the hopes that someone feels a little better after reading these pixels against time. My handprint on a cave wall. “Kilroy was here.”

And, lucky for you, I also have those weird obsessions with books, periods of history, how geology works, the arts and our own amazing minds and bodies. I read long, boring stuff so you don’t have to! Or at least suggest some good stuff.

So I invite you, fellow legend, to join me on my quest, and share yours with me. Weirdo to weirdo. Wizard to wizard. Funk to funky.  I need people of intelligence if I’m to continue on this sort of mission, quest thing. So subscribe, comment, write me using my First Contact form or on social media (links in About Me below). Even — no — especially if, you think I’m wrong and have another take. Share that. I care.

The awesome in me recognizes the awesome in you.

Namasté and Go Eagles!

J. Lakis

✌🏻❤️‍🩹🎸🦅🤟🏻

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