In the play The Philadelphia, a man finds that no matter how normal his request, he cannot get anything he wants. He can’t even get aspirin from a drug store, they have Advil and Tylenol, but no aspirin. And the pharmacist acts like he’s crazy.  Turns out he’s stuck in a “metaphysical” Philadelphia.

That captures the essence. And nowhere is that better represented than in our friggin bums sports teams. That scoreboard may have read 40 – 20 with two minutes left, but I was still wondering how they were going to [fox] that up. And the internal voice that says that is angry and old. It goes back generations. “They’re killing me.”

I had determined to enjoy this game. The last (and first) time they won the Super Bowl, we had people over and made a ton of food. This time, we didn’t have anyone over, but we made a ton of food. (It’s part of setting up the Mojo. Everybody has to do their part.) It’s all I did the day before, clean and make food. I was still doing it the day of. Then I did a Yoga with Adriene practice called Yoga Party to prepare, and then I watched the game.

It was great. I had so much fun. That defense was so brutal. I love when they swoop down in the Eagles colors and crush that guy with the ball. Screw him! Break his legs!

Seriously, that’s me enjoying the game. I’m still happy about that sportsball game. It felt good in a way I needed. It was an vicious stomp down.

Don’t we all sometimes (right now, a lot) feel like we’re stuck in a Philadelphia? Honestly, Philadelphia winning that hard feels like something that would happen in a Philadelphia. It makes me question what evil might befall to compensate for that. That place is like the Terminator Twilight Zone. It wants to kill you. It can’t be reasoned with, and it will never stop.

So, a lot like life, huh? Life, for me, has been a little extra in a bad way lately. So I did really want to enjoy that game. And I did. And that’s good. We need to have something to feel good about, even if it ultimately doesn’t matter. Football players are expected to hurt people. I’m not supposed to because of laws. But it’s sure fun watching someone do it for me.

This is why the Philadelphia fans riot. We’re really happy to be released from our misery, however briefly. Have you been to Philly? Not the museums or Center City. Have you been to the neighborhoods? Some not at all quiet desperation to be found there.

And even though, like a lot of people, my parents moved to South Jersey and then I went back there after I graduated high school, that “atty-tude” is baked in pretty hard. I’ve always thought that Philadelphia is where they should send young Buddhist monks to learn their First Noble Truth, “All life is suffering.”

But I am tired now. The Greeks used violence, horror, anger, pride, ignorance, jealousy etc in their plays so that the audience could purge their negative emotions. Catharsis. And I feel well purged.

It’s not healthy to feel bad all the time. And little stuff like football games and food are those “useless” things that matter to our souls. What do Monet’s water lilies or Van Gogh’s sunflowers matter? What does Mozart’s Queen of the Night matter? To me they’re everything.

Those “useless” things are what matters. They’re what we — as free, human beings — should be doing and enjoying. Appreciating peak athletic or artistic talent, looking at nature, having good food, liking cats, knitting, pottery, wood carving, train sets, singing in the shower, writing blogs, whatever your thing is. That’s what we can control that sustains us when inevitably life doesn’t go our way. Or goes horrifically wrong.

We gotta keep doing what makes life worth living, even if it’s in our minds. I’ve heard of POWs whose commander had his men design — in their heads or with whatever they could find — the house they were going to build when they got home. They’d meet, and talk about how they were thinking of an addition and what not. Gotta keep that brain busy with something positive or it gets depressed, angry and frightened. Sometimes it just shuts down.

So, what are you doing to keep yourself from breaking stuff and hurting people, your person included? Let me know. I’m sticking with the yoga, meditation, writing and healthy food stuff. Trying to get my sleep sorted. Listening to a lot of Pulp. I’ve also been getting into Tolkien again. He’s comforting because he dresses up his trauma in Elves and wizards and trees that recite their own poetry.  He makes this hobbit happy. And the hobbits are the heroes, and legends, like you and me.

Namasté and (one last time) Go Birds!

J. Lakis

✌🏻💚🦅💚❤️‍🩹🤟🏻

If you’re considering suicide, self harm or have a mental health crisis: call or text 988 any time to talk or text with someone from the National Suicide Prevention and Crisis Hotline. Help is always available in English or Spanish. LGBTQ+ youth in crisis? Contact:  The Trevor Project.

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